Bastet

The gathering of roots, berries, and mushrooms was getting hard. She had to bend so deep she feared she'd topple over her swollen belly. She could feel the new life moving restlessly. This was her first time carrying, she knew it was an honour to bring forth new life but she was afraid. She was weary. She ached and wanted to cry.
She picked one more mushroom and waddled back to the cave.
Together, they prepared the tasty roots, mushrooms and nuts. Sweet berries were saved for later. The smallest ones were hushed away from the fire and one by one they fell asleep in the warm safety of their cave
Small ones were just waking up when the hunters came. They didn't have much, but that was better than their usual empty hands.
The young one, the one that made her heart leap and the new life move even harder, carried three rabbits. He kneeled in front of the elders and presented the rabbits to them.
The other hunters murmured approvingly. He would be the one to look out for.
The elders took the rabbits and with many incantations, put them over the fire.

He had something else in his hands, she saw, as he strode towards her. A flower, delicate and fragrant. He bowed his head in front of her and offered the flower.
She took it, smelled it and tucked it into her hair.
He lifted his gaze and touched her belly. The new life greeted his touch.
He slammed his chest and gestured towards the rabbits. They were his prey.
The gesturing made her smile a weary smile and she stroke her belly and prayed for the Great Mother to make this life as good a hunter.

The elder by the fire called out, food was ready.
The skulls of the rabbit were given back to the one who caught them. She took a strong vine and put it through the empty eye sockets so he could wear them around his neck.

That night, he was allowed to sleep as a reward for the meat. Others would, in their turn, wake up to watch the fire and keep a watchful eye of the silent beasts of the night.
He curled next to her, put his arm protectively around her and the life within.

When the light returned to the world, both hunters and gatherers wnt on their ways.
All except for her. It was her turn to feed the fire. She was happy to stay behind, the work was hard and the life was more and more restless.
Sharp pains had bothered her in her sleep.

It had just started to rain when she heard a noise from the bushes. She fed smoking leaves into the fire, they scared away most beasts. But the rustling continued.
She was just about to call out to the nearby gatherers when a small, ragged thing emerged from the bushes. She let out a sigh. That tiny thing didn't look like it could harm her.
It came towards her, careful not to go too near the fire.
It sat down on the warm stone and started licking its feet. Strong, sharp claws were revealed from within its toes as she looked, transfixed.
Now, there was the pain again, it kept getting worse and worse.
She wanted to scream but it seemed pointless. And she didn't want to frighten her new friend. Maybe this thing was a message from the Great Mother.
The elders hadn't declared it was her time yet, but this pain was what somehow she knew to expect.

It struck her again and she yelped. The ragged thing lifted its gaze upon her but soon went back to licking itself clean. She saw that it too had long teats under its belly, much like her swollen breast.
She felt wet and a new wave of pain made her scream. The thing got on its feet and hissed. She reached her hand towards it. It stopped, looked unsettled but sat down again.
Blood started coming out of her with the pain but so did the new life.
She cried out and suddenly, another sound joined her. She lifted the new life in her arm and to her teat with certainty she couldn't explain.
But the pain didn't stop.
Again she cried, she cried her heart out. It was too much. She already held the newborn.
But another one needed to be born.
She lifted the second life to her other breast, sweated, heaving and out of stamina. She was still bleeding.
The ragged animal approached her again, sniffed the blood on the stone and started licking it.
She didn't move anymore.

When the hunters and the gatherers came back the fire was all but died, her body had gone cold but the newborns on her breast were sleeping calmly, a scruffy little animal had curled around them, keeping them warm and safe. It kept its eyes half opened and made a gentle sound.
The hunters were victorious, carrying a large elk. That would feed them all generously and the skin would make a good shelter.
The young hunter hurried to see his favourite. But what he found froze his heart. He touched her skin just to find it cold. The new lives moved and started crying.
He lifted them up for the tribe to see. The animal that had slept with them tried to stop him from touching them.
The elders took the babies and gave them to another, she still had milk from her previous small one.
She took them, struck with grief.

The young, proud hunter took his sharpest knife and walked up to the elk.
He carved out its heart, it was still warm, and kneeled all the way to the ground in front of the tiny beast. For he knew the thing kept the babies alive after their bearer passed.
It sat there a moment, pondering, then sniffed him, then the heart and finally took it in its sharp fangs and carried it to a warm, clean spot by the fire before starting to eat it.
It finished the heart, cleaned its paws, then whiskers and then found its way to the again babies and curled around them once more.

He/she

She sits in the window.
Sometimes she leans on the railings and cries her heart out. Silent tears, out of devastation, not the need for attention.
Often she just sits and reads.
Yesterday she looked up.

Fuckmefuckmefuckme! All this shit is driving me out of my mind. I was supposed to just stay for a while. Until things got better. 
And now I'm stuck in this shit storm. 
Neighbours aren't so bad, though.


I wonder why she is so sad. Why does she cry? 
I wonder if I dared to say hello if we ever met. No. Most likely not.


There's a flat, just across the road. I can see them in there. Those three guys. They're always smiling. Wonder what they're up to... Especially that one.


Guys say it is stupid, creepy even. Stalking her like that.
But I am not stalking. I observe. I build courage.


There he is again. He looks lonesome. Maybe I should wave.

She saw me. She waved. My hand waved back before I could stop it. 

Awkward. What now? 
Shitshitshit.
Umm, something, anything.
Would he drink...

What is that? A coffee pan? Unsure nodding. Head, what are you doing? Stop that.
Wait, she is smiling. She is smiling at me.

Can't help smiling.
A gesture towards a cafè on the entrance to the park.
He's picking up his coat. 
Is he leaving already?

Now or never.

Out, out! Now, legs!

Is she here? I lost her.

Hi!

Hello.

Nightmare

A little girl sat restlessly in an uncomfortable chair. She didn't like her dress. She was drawing in a sketchbook, bored. She wasn't sure if she liked drawing but she drew anyway. That was the only thing she was allowed to do.
A man wearing an ill-fitting suit stood on the podium, speaking scary words. The girl wasn't paying attention. It was adult things.
"Shh", her Mother hushed when she coloured too hard. She tried to do it more silently.

The man should have stopped by now but he was still talking. The child's Mother poked at her to listen.
"And now", the man said. "This is what we know. The end is truly nigh. Today we must die to make it through."
The girl didn't understand why she had to listen.
A friend of her parents gave her something. It looked like candy, but the colour was sickeningly bright. She looked at it on her tiny palm.
It seemed everyone else was holding their breath. She didn't understand.

A countdown from ten.
She looked at her Mother. She had a glazed expression, a half-smile that wasn't exactly happy.
She looked over her shoulder at her Father. He looked troubled, he was holding a candy too, he stared at it as if it were a problem to be solved.
She looked around. Everyone, she'd ever known was staring transfixed at the man on the podium. He was looking at his watch.

"Now!"
Everyone around the girl raised their hands to their mouths and swallowed the too bright candy. She didn't want to. She raised her hand and tightened her little fist around the thing.

Her friend fell to the ground.
No one moved.

Her brother fell, arms flailing, foaming at the mouth. It looked like he was hurting.

One by one they all fell around her.
Her Mother, her Father, her Grandmother and Grandfather.
Her friends and cousins.
She couldn't decide if they looked more terrified or in pain.

She held the bright thing tightly.

They stopped moving.
Silence fell.
She screamed.
She ran.
She was still screaming and running when a bus driver pulled over to see why a small child was running on the highway on her own.



A little girl woke up, swallowing her sobs. Her Mother and Father were sleeping nearby. Her brother was muttering in his sleep.
Her Grandfather sneezed downstairs.
A puppy-dog came to her, licked the silent tears off her face and she hugged it's warm fur until she fell back to sleep.



Another night, another nightmare.


"Now!"
The order echoed in her little ears.
She swallowed the bright red pill without hesitation.
A moment later she couldn't breathe.
She tore at her collar, gasping for breath.
She fell and all went dark.


A teenager sat up sharply on the sofa where she had fallen asleep. She was covered in cold sweat and her heart was racing.
She got up and sneaked to her bed, quiet as a mouse.



Once more, with feeling.


"Now!"
"No!"
Her little voice echoed in the hall.
"We have to", her Mother said.
She could see her Father leaving his post.
He grabbed her in his arms and held tight. She tried to fight back but she was too weak.
"No, don't! It's bad, don't, please!" she shrieked with all her strength.
Her Mother looked at her Father, nodded, and covered her mouth with her hand.
She bit the hand, dying to live, while tears of terror streamed down her cheeks. She screamed a wordless scream as the unspeakable pain took over her body. Her Mother and Father still looking at each other, lovingly, as life escaped her.


A woman jumped up in a large bed, finally screaming, remembering all.
They were gone.
That wasn't how.
But they were all gone.
"Baby?", a soft, drowsy voice next to her asked, barely awake. "What is it?"
"Nothing", she answered. "Just an old nightmare."